the worst part for me

I'm not a bad person, I'm not mean, or evil, or an asshole, I'm just trying to keep myself together, on the right track, moving in the right direction, I haven't done a lot of things correctly in my life, but I've been making better decisions recently, never felt like I've belonged somewhere the way I feel I belong in this EMS field, on the job it's great, different people, different patients, different scenarios, different nurses, it's like fantasy, keeps my mind off the real world... maybe it's because I'm new, maybe I'll feel differently in a few months, but the worst part of the shift for me is the end, and I start thinking about the real world...