What is wrong with people??

Whatever happened to a bit of respect, some common courtesy, and a little bit of intelligence?

the worst part for me

I'm not a bad person, I'm not mean, or evil, or an asshole, I'm just trying to keep myself together, on the right track, moving in the right direction, I haven't done a lot of things correctly in my life, but I've been making better decisions recently, never felt like I've belonged somewhere the way I feel I belong in this EMS field, on the job it's great, different people, different patients, different scenarios, different nurses, it's like fantasy, keeps my mind off the real world... maybe it's because I'm new, maybe I'll feel differently in a few months, but the worst part of the shift for me is the end, and I start thinking about the real world...

Be Smart

Show up to the ER, patient in restraints yelling at all the staff, tugging on the restraints threatening to beat people down, I get the paperwork, noted in bold and circled on three different pages RESTRAINTS REQUIRED, his reason for being here is he fought with four security guards because he's off his meds, history of cocaine abuse and abusive behavior, there are fresh scars on his head, stitches where the officer hit him with the handcuffs, the nurse tells my partner "I don't know if you really need restraints to transport him", partner asks me "do you want to use restraints?" and I reply "YES, we are definitely using restraints."

Earlier that night two medics bring a 5150 patient to the psyche ward, instead of rolling him up to the doors strapped to the gurney they decide to walk him up, no straps, no restraints, just walk up like a regular person. Just outside the facility the patient beats both medics down and runs off, police weren't able to find him...

Sometimes

"This world is strange, so strange it is, ya know it makes me hurt sometimes,
No matter how good you are to people you know, they'll make you cry sometimes."

Raphael Saadiq (Sometimes)

Wish I could be an angel... but I fall too much

She told me I act "Weird and Negative" now, I told her that was cold and I don't see how, she came to that conclusion, she said she tries to include me in things but I reply with self exclusion, my reaction interprets that as a bit dramatic, I think I hurt her feelings when I decided not to go tagging along to subway to grab a bite to eat, but if I'm tired and not hungry please don't hold it against me, I concealed the fact that I was a bit sickly, thought I did the right thing but she misunderstood me, guess I can't be perfect every second of everyday, I think she's an angel but I'm rubbing her the wrong way, but it's no sweat, we'll work it out eventually, I'mma take her on some new adventures with me, every relationship has its valleys and peaks, from the simple frinedships to the loves that are deep, but this made me dwell on a bit of self reflection, I'm willing to change to find a better direction, I'm passionate about making all of my movements towards some sort of improvement with no exceptions, a bit of a perfectionist to a fault, make a mistake I come down on myself too hard for too long, but I'mma keep on singing my song, bcuz every night precedes the sunrise and life goes on, and for those times when I seem to hide my charm, realize I'm still the same person alive and warm, sometimes I might be wrong, I wish I could be everything to everybody, but I'm not that strong, wanna climb to the top of the tree but I fall too much, wanna confide in you but I find it hard to trust, I've got scars and stuff like everyone else, but holding everything inside is not good for my health, if you looked into my eyes you would see I have so much on my mind that I hide and hope you don't find, but I guess it's starting to boil over, I'm getting colder shoulders as I grow older, feelin like fallen angels needing someone to hold 'em, don't wanna be a burden but now it seems I'm heavy as boulders, not a troubled man, just have a troubled mind, but this too shall pass in due time...